Hey, i forgot to write yesturday probably because I didn't have nothing really to talk about.
I haven't perfected my radio commercial yet, but I'm finishing it up today. it's just hard to scheduale your self around the kids.
To be honest....i'm not in the mood to really open up to i'm just gonna call it a day. i will do this survey instead.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
UGH!!!!
Well, I did my first commercial but i felt it wasn't up to par. my co host Rizz said it sounded good, but that it sounded like a commercial for a free gift or for one of those Adult Contemporary Music radio shows. I really did sound way too old for the show and it didn't really reflect how i want people to think about the show. i mean doing a radio show is all about your voice and even though my voice sounded...well sexy, it did make the show sound a bit boring. or rather too old. and plus, I forgot a lot of major details. oops! I guess u can say "take one!". Rizz also went ahead and changed the music to the radio and it's gonna sound SO much better. once i get it done and perfected, I'm going to go ahead and see if I can put it up on this site so that u can leave your comments about it.
Well today my friend finally called me back. OK let me let u in on this. I have a friend i knew ever since i was like...oh ...since i was born!! we are only a month apart and my mother and her mother were friends working for the same law firm. Now about 2 years ago, my mother and hers had a falling out. I got pregnant at 19 by my boyfriend *now my hubby* and since my family is Christian, they were really upset (that's an understatement). My friend's mother also got mad about it and told my mother that she should kick me out of the house among some other things. She also told me (after me and my man got engaged) that he was not the one. Needless to say, she caused everyone to get upset and not too long after that, my mother and her had it out and stopped talking to each other.
When all of this happen, me and my sister *I will not say her name but just know her as my sister since i don't have any biological sisters* vowed that our parent's situation with their now non-existing friendship would not affect ours. well lately she has been acting differently. I know i have my 2 kids and i have selected times to talk, but she should at least understand. but lately, I've noticed she's been a bit distant. not calling me back , not telling me things. like today when she called me back finally, she tells me that they (she still lives at home) are moving. I didn't know about that. And she didn't show up to my son's birthday party last month. Now she was on the phone today, trying to tell me that she's not sure if she is coming down for the Lil New Years get together. Now, i know that we live about 2 hours away from her, but this girl is not hurting. I mean, she has a BMW convertible with NO JOB. She is really spoiled and sometimes rubs it in your face. Maybe not on purpose, but i still get a bit...envious...I'll say it. Me and my husband are living....let's say uncomfortably. but she always acts like (lately) that she can't make it out this time, but then goes to New York or Las Vegas. I think I'm starting to get the hint...but i don't understand why. Why would u throw away 22 years of sisterhood over what? Your mother not liking me because I had a beautiful son and had it with a man that I wasn't married to just yet?
OK...now let me be real. I'm a Conservative person. I believe in tradition and morals. i believe in change, but not a take over. i don't forgive my self for getting pregnant out of marriage...sex out of marriage too. I almost feel that because of my selfishness and lust it caused me to almost miscarriage at 15 wks and it caused me to have him while only being 6 months pregnant. He was in the hospital for over 5 months and he still has developmental problems because of it. It was a hard time in my life and people like my sister's mother did not make things better. A lot of people looked down at me and said their comments and living at home was hard. I still find myself getting over it. I'm hoping that his open journal will help to to get over it...or maybe just to see that things happen...I think. i don't know. i know it's not God's fault for what happen to my son and nor should i blame my self. but i guess when your a mother, any thing that affects your child is "your fault" good or bad. I don't know...I'm just gonna leave on that.
Well today my friend finally called me back. OK let me let u in on this. I have a friend i knew ever since i was like...oh ...since i was born!! we are only a month apart and my mother and her mother were friends working for the same law firm. Now about 2 years ago, my mother and hers had a falling out. I got pregnant at 19 by my boyfriend *now my hubby* and since my family is Christian, they were really upset (that's an understatement). My friend's mother also got mad about it and told my mother that she should kick me out of the house among some other things. She also told me (after me and my man got engaged) that he was not the one. Needless to say, she caused everyone to get upset and not too long after that, my mother and her had it out and stopped talking to each other.
When all of this happen, me and my sister *I will not say her name but just know her as my sister since i don't have any biological sisters* vowed that our parent's situation with their now non-existing friendship would not affect ours. well lately she has been acting differently. I know i have my 2 kids and i have selected times to talk, but she should at least understand. but lately, I've noticed she's been a bit distant. not calling me back , not telling me things. like today when she called me back finally, she tells me that they (she still lives at home) are moving. I didn't know about that. And she didn't show up to my son's birthday party last month. Now she was on the phone today, trying to tell me that she's not sure if she is coming down for the Lil New Years get together. Now, i know that we live about 2 hours away from her, but this girl is not hurting. I mean, she has a BMW convertible with NO JOB. She is really spoiled and sometimes rubs it in your face. Maybe not on purpose, but i still get a bit...envious...I'll say it. Me and my husband are living....let's say uncomfortably. but she always acts like (lately) that she can't make it out this time, but then goes to New York or Las Vegas. I think I'm starting to get the hint...but i don't understand why. Why would u throw away 22 years of sisterhood over what? Your mother not liking me because I had a beautiful son and had it with a man that I wasn't married to just yet?
OK...now let me be real. I'm a Conservative person. I believe in tradition and morals. i believe in change, but not a take over. i don't forgive my self for getting pregnant out of marriage...sex out of marriage too. I almost feel that because of my selfishness and lust it caused me to almost miscarriage at 15 wks and it caused me to have him while only being 6 months pregnant. He was in the hospital for over 5 months and he still has developmental problems because of it. It was a hard time in my life and people like my sister's mother did not make things better. A lot of people looked down at me and said their comments and living at home was hard. I still find myself getting over it. I'm hoping that his open journal will help to to get over it...or maybe just to see that things happen...I think. i don't know. i know it's not God's fault for what happen to my son and nor should i blame my self. but i guess when your a mother, any thing that affects your child is "your fault" good or bad. I don't know...I'm just gonna leave on that.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
the next day
well, I didn't expect that i would still be writing on this, but i am so hopefully this means that i will keep this up. Today I'm going to start outlining my first promo commercial and i hope that it sounds good. i was hoping that my co host would go ahead and make the commercial himself, but I'm getting impatient and i can't wait any longer.
my husband is asleep again as usual around this time and i wish that i could do the same. i stay awake with my thoughts and it takes things like the TV to droned it out.
today was my nephews birthday and it crazy how much he has grown! he's already six. sometimes, it reminds me of when he was born. i was only in high school, I'm thinking i was 15-16 and i was so happy that i had a nephew! i took his birth pictures to school and showed all of my friends. he was such a man looking baby; u knew he was a baby boy by just looking at him! but just so ever adorable.
sometimes when i think of those happy times, i wish i could just go back for a minute just so i can feel those same emotions again. like to really cherish it while it's happening since i already know this will only be a fleeting memory later on in time. Actually, i really would love to tell the old me something about this present to warn/prepare myself for these times that i live in. i was always looking for love and i hate that part of myself back then. i was so needy; of friend, guys tings to do...everything. i was so insecure and if i look back now in my old journals, u would see kinda a depressed lil girl. It didn't have to be that way!!!! I mean i wasn't anything normal in high school...for pete sakes, i didn't even have my first kiss until after high school and it was a pitiful one at that. sometimes i wish i would of just stayed that way: forever wondering what if feel like being loved and feeling unwanted. i really didn't know what i possed in my world for me to make it. I so underestimated my self and i was stupid to feel that way. i had no idea how my feeling then were so insignificant compared to feeling and things that i deal with today. oh well i guess what can i do other than talk about it. that's what I'm doing....i will try hard to continue to.
my husband is asleep again as usual around this time and i wish that i could do the same. i stay awake with my thoughts and it takes things like the TV to droned it out.
today was my nephews birthday and it crazy how much he has grown! he's already six. sometimes, it reminds me of when he was born. i was only in high school, I'm thinking i was 15-16 and i was so happy that i had a nephew! i took his birth pictures to school and showed all of my friends. he was such a man looking baby; u knew he was a baby boy by just looking at him! but just so ever adorable.
sometimes when i think of those happy times, i wish i could just go back for a minute just so i can feel those same emotions again. like to really cherish it while it's happening since i already know this will only be a fleeting memory later on in time. Actually, i really would love to tell the old me something about this present to warn/prepare myself for these times that i live in. i was always looking for love and i hate that part of myself back then. i was so needy; of friend, guys tings to do...everything. i was so insecure and if i look back now in my old journals, u would see kinda a depressed lil girl. It didn't have to be that way!!!! I mean i wasn't anything normal in high school...for pete sakes, i didn't even have my first kiss until after high school and it was a pitiful one at that. sometimes i wish i would of just stayed that way: forever wondering what if feel like being loved and feeling unwanted. i really didn't know what i possed in my world for me to make it. I so underestimated my self and i was stupid to feel that way. i had no idea how my feeling then were so insignificant compared to feeling and things that i deal with today. oh well i guess what can i do other than talk about it. that's what I'm doing....i will try hard to continue to.
Friday, December 14, 2007
My first Blog for anyone who cares.
Well, I have the show set to start on New Years Day. Oops, i forgot to explain what show! I'm having a new show aka podcast called "All the Way with Laresay". This show is going to be bananas!! I don't even know why i said it like that. i don't really use slang in the first place!
Anyways, I'm really feeling good about this show. it's going to be one of those things where this can really change my life. I'm normally a 22 yr old married SAHM of 2 boys that really is trying to find her self. Before the kids and the marriage, i thought i knew what i wanted in life. it was real simple to me. but now, it's like no time, figure it out now! i love the people in my life, i just want to make life different for them.
As u can tell, I'm using this blogg for the show. for me really. i used to be such a journal writer before i left for college. note to reader, I'm not really big on explaining my self. as I write more, I'll keep disclosing parts of my life for people to know, but i just can't lay it all on the line now. i have to take this slow. i don't have baggage per se, but i don't pretend that there aren't things in my past that bothers me. i don't want to annoy my husband by going over and over and over about things in the past. I'm just gonna use this blog as my outlet. no i don't cap the "i's" every time....I'm just trying to get through with this. phew.
I'm gonna use this show as a distress-er and here is my recipe: a little sarcasm, a little seriousness a little comedy with a women and male fight to the death spin on it.
my co-host is an exact opposite with everything so it'll be interesting to hear his candid remarks. He's such a tell-it-like-it-is type of guy and I'm like more of a "remember the kids" type of girl. but this show will be great. we will be talking about everything...from politics to religion, current events, pop culture, relationships, kids, everything. If everything goes well, i would like the show to be done at least Monday-Thursday. it all matters on the listeners/chemistry. So wish me luck! if you posted a question for us to answer online then thanks...I'll post the place and the latest times so you can hear the answers yourself! Just Remember: All the Way with Laresay!!!!
Anyways, I'm really feeling good about this show. it's going to be one of those things where this can really change my life. I'm normally a 22 yr old married SAHM of 2 boys that really is trying to find her self. Before the kids and the marriage, i thought i knew what i wanted in life. it was real simple to me. but now, it's like no time, figure it out now! i love the people in my life, i just want to make life different for them.
As u can tell, I'm using this blogg for the show. for me really. i used to be such a journal writer before i left for college. note to reader, I'm not really big on explaining my self. as I write more, I'll keep disclosing parts of my life for people to know, but i just can't lay it all on the line now. i have to take this slow. i don't have baggage per se, but i don't pretend that there aren't things in my past that bothers me. i don't want to annoy my husband by going over and over and over about things in the past. I'm just gonna use this blog as my outlet. no i don't cap the "i's" every time....I'm just trying to get through with this. phew.
I'm gonna use this show as a distress-er and here is my recipe: a little sarcasm, a little seriousness a little comedy with a women and male fight to the death spin on it.
my co-host is an exact opposite with everything so it'll be interesting to hear his candid remarks. He's such a tell-it-like-it-is type of guy and I'm like more of a "remember the kids" type of girl. but this show will be great. we will be talking about everything...from politics to religion, current events, pop culture, relationships, kids, everything. If everything goes well, i would like the show to be done at least Monday-Thursday. it all matters on the listeners/chemistry. So wish me luck! if you posted a question for us to answer online then thanks...I'll post the place and the latest times so you can hear the answers yourself! Just Remember: All the Way with Laresay!!!!
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